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Capitalism has raped, plundered and pillaged our planet, our home, to such an extent that our planet is dying. The sixth great mass extinction is underway and it is human caused and is now irreversible. I believe the human species will be extinct within the next decade, which means a decade of suffering awaits us. Someone once said “that if you aren’t angry or depressed your insane”, and sometimes I wish it were true, but I know that anger and depression are just normal parts of the grieving process and I really can’t afford to get stuck there. But damn it feels good to be angry sometimes, it’s so cathartic, but then I wake up with an emotional hangover and regret my emotional binge. Always conduct your emotional binges in private by the way, it’s far less embarrassing that way. 

Anger is a short lived conditioned response, a conditioning that occurs in early childhood whenever an infant perceives a threat to its survival, which is totally dependent on its relationship with its mother. When an infants basic emotional needs for attention, affection, attachment and belonging are unmet even momentarily, fear and frustration results and the infant cries out. Fear and frustration are the main feelings that produce the emotion of anger. You have probably heard that there are only two primary emotions, love and fear, fundamentally this is true, but the word love has become really corrupted in our society to such an extent that its lost all meaning. Prior to thirteen hundred AD, Love was closer in meaning to the concept of charitable compassion and always involved some form of self sacrifice to be genuine. I prefer Fritz Kunkel’s viewpoint, that infants are born with survival instincts that lie at the root of all fears and that infants  yearn for intimacy, attachment, and belonging, a longing to be one with another, a womb like experience, a non-dual experience, where the two become one. This constellation of feelings he calls Love. Many mystics would call this non-dual experience Unity Consciousness, while Kunkel referred to it as the Compassionate We. The Compassionate We is who we are, it is the Authentic Self once all forms of individuality (the cause of separation, disparity and despair) have been abandoned. 

So if we are born with instinctual fears and the Unity experience (love). Then anger really is just a primal gut wrenching fear, where we feel there is some existential threat to our basic instincts for survival. Currently we are dealing with the issue of survival and it looks like we won’t survive, our lives and the lives of all those we love and hold dear are under extreme, eminent threat. So while anger seems so appropriate it really doesn’t help us with our suffering, in fact it seems to add to it. The more we binge on it the worse we feel in the long run. If we want to end our suffering we must deal with our anger and resentments. No matter how justified they seem. 

Pain is essential for growth, we grow by overcoming it. The pain we are experiencing today arises from the knowledge that death is near, we are mortal, we are going to die. There is much fear and frustration, much uncertainty about how painful our death will be, its terrifying to think about it, so don’t try to imagine the future, we simply don’t know how this final chapter will unfold. Live for today, live fully, one day at a time. But let’s use whatever time we have left to grow. Our pain is real, suffering is optional. Let’s use our pain for its intended purpose, becoming whole, where every split off aspect of ourselves is integrated into the whole and individuation occurs, and the Authentic Self fully emerges. 

If we step back and take a look at our anger and resentments we will see that they are totally fear based. Some aspect of Self has been damaged or is perceived to be under direct threat. Take one more step back and we will see that it is our ego that is under threat. Our pride, our self esteem, our relationships, our financial security, our image and standing in the community, our need for power and control, pleasure and prestige, attention and esteem, and in our current situation the most basic need of all, Security and survival. 

Security and Survival is the only true need we really have, because it is totally dependent upon and is inclusive of interdependent attachment and belonging (maintenance of the We), leading to the communal procurement of food, clothing and shelter. 

All of our other so called needs are created by the ego and it’s dependency on the the five outward oriented senses, that creates the ego’s attachment to the material realm. To the ego the realm of the sensate the realm of the sensual is all that exists. If the egoic mind cannot experience something physically it does not exist.  Therefore from an egocentric perspective the death of the planet and human extinction is the end, there is nothing else. This is a terrifying thought for the egocentric ego. When the body dies, the brain, the mind and the ego all cease to exist, its over. Dust to dust. 

Is it possible that this egocentric view of the world is mistaken, could it be false?  Are we just bodies made of flesh, created to nourish parasites and bacteria, or is there more to life than just the material realm.  

All the great mystics from every walk of life say that life as we see it from this egocentric perspective is an illusion. They all speak of some higher form a Spirit that exists within us. A Spirit capable of transcending death, and that the true meaning and purpose of life is to bring this Spirit into consciousness, and we must do it in this lifetime, now is the appointed time. 

If we adopt this viewpoint, then there is hope, we have something important to do with our reaming time. We can make a choice, we can choose this “Perennial Philosophy” and aspire to Wholeness, or carry on as we are. 

We can dismantle our anger and resentments as we dismantle our ego, the source of all deception. We set aside all bitterness and develop a caring and compassionate Self. We can form caring and compassionate communities, where an injury to one is seen and felt as an injury to all. A society built around self sacrifice where those with ability give and those with need receive. 

I believe we only have ten years left, I also believe we should make the best of it for ourselves and others. 

Empathy, understanding, compassion and wisdom are essential in the time we have left. What else is there?

As we face catastrophic climate change and human extinction many people are completely emotionally overwhelmed by the prognosis. After all they are people being presented with a terminal diagnosis for themselves, their families and their children, everyone they love is going to die. 

Denial must be seen and understood as a defense mechanism, designed to protect us from an emotional and psychological overload. Denial is therefore a good thing in the short term, it protects us, creates a safe distance from the event and gives us time to gradually absorb the shocking, disturbing and horrific news. Denial protects us from being suddenly slammed into a catatonic state. 

We also must determine if we are dealing with someone in a state of denial as opposed to someone who is a climate denier. Climate deniers already know the facts and are coping just fine. Climate deniers actively promote misinformation and profit from it. 

I hear many people asking, about how do we talk to people that are in denial, and the answer is simple, we don’t talk, we listen. We have to respect where their at.  Denial is a psychological state designed for their protection. Firstly we must respect that they don’t want to hear or know the truth, it is to upsetting, they aren’t ready to deal with it yet. So maybe it would be best to leave the subject alone for a bit until a better opportunity presents itself. In other words if they slam the door shut, leave it shut for now, but maintain open lines of communication. If the door is open just a crack it’s time to let the listening begin. We listen, we listen actively and empathically. We listen to their feelings, and help them explore their feelings with open ended questions. We don’t debate or argue, we just focus on their feelings, there is no judging, analyzing, or critiquing. We are not here to advise, fix or rescue, just listen empathically, assisting them to explore their feelings and talk openly about them. Always bearing in mind overcoming denial is a process that is different for everyone affected by it. For some it is a very slow process, some actually stay locked in denial right to the end, they cannot accept the thought of dying. They wait for the miracle to come and save them. 

We should also always remember that we shouldn’t take something away from someone unless we can replace it with something better. Many people in denial cling to false hope, and one has to wonder whether false hope is better than no hope at all. We have to ask ourselves are we in a position to offer them anything better than false hope. After all sometimes ignorance is bliss. 

We should also ask ourselves why it’s important for us that they come out of their state of denial. How does it really benefit them or us?  Some might argue that misery loves company. We know the truth, the end is near, and we are alone with the truth because nobody else wants to hear it. We must remember that if we press the truth on others we run the real risk of alienating them, and then the door will slam shut. 

We also must remember that in our society corporations, the corporate state, the corporate media and many corporate scientists are actively engaging in deliberate and calculated misinformation, misinformation designed to maintain the capitalist state, globalism and profits. They want to maintain the state of denial. The psychologists who work for them know that the externalization phase of grief produces a lot of anger and blame and this could lead to revolution and assassination. They believe the state of denial must be maintained for their corporate welfare. So you see the person you are dealing with who is trapped in denial is well supported in that state.  

Empathy and understanding produce compassion, the only true form of love. If we are to help our friends and family overcome denial, we have to replace their false hope with something better, and we must be in possession of that ourselves. We ourselves must posses something better than what they already have, they have to want what we have. Have we ourselves completed the healing journey and completed the eight stages of grief?  Do we believe that there is life beyond death, that there is a consciousness that permeates and maintains all life and is within us?  Are we on the path to wholeness, integration and Unity Consciousness. 

All infants are born in a state of belonging, they and their mother are one, there is Unity a deep and authentic wholeness. Childhood trauma marks the the Breach of the We and we enter into the path of separation and suffering. 

I believe we can offer people an alternative to false hope, that there is a higher purpose to helping them overcome denial. But we must possess the empathy and compassion, we must believe that here is more to life than death, and that by overcoming denial they are preparing for the journey into the great beyond. The beyond that begins within. 

Life was always meant to be a Spiritual journey, unfortunately for us and the planet the Spiritual Journey was corrupted by the personal and collective ego and it’s judgements.  

Overcoming denial must be motivated and guided by compassion, it is not about being right, it is about healing a Soul. 

This essay is a very short overview, 997 words. It would take a book of 1,000 pages to fully describe the grieving process. 

The stages of grief are:

1. Shock: Shock is an innate instantaneous, automatic reflex, a psychic numbing, it is an ancient defense mechanism that distances and prevents a complete emotional overload and is usually short lived, like a startle reflex, or fight, flight or freeze reflex. 

2. Denial: As the shock wears off the ego intervenes with its own defensive strategies and we now begin to voluntary distance ourselves from an incomprehensible truth. The ego begins to grasp at straws, anything to maintain the status quo as it was before the tragic event. 

   It can’t be true,   

There must be some mistake, 

   I need a second opinion, 

   There is a cure in Mexico. 

   These tactics allow time for adjustment and prevent a complete psychic overload. Denial is designed as a temporary strategy designed to allow us to come to the truth in our own time. 

3. Externalization. Anger is one of the most common forms of externalization thus maintaining a safe internal distance. The powerful complex constellation of emotions that have been aroused by the event cannot yet be internalized safely and so they are directed outward for awhile at people, institutions or authorities. Someone must be to blame and held to account. there is a generalized anger often accompanied by fits of rage. 

4. Guilt and Shame:  (Internalization). Finally we have come to a place where the healing process can begin. The previous three stages have served to protect us and give us time to gradually absorb the truth. But now the Soul searching process begins as we try to make sense of our suffering. The internalization process begins with a shift in the blaming process. Where yesterday we were blaming others now we start blaming ourselves.  The unconscious has stirred into action, there has been a tragic loss, another “Breach of the We”. The infant blamed itself for the original breach and felt a deep sense of shame and guilt, a deep sense of inadequacy and unworthiness. The ego repressed these emotions deep into the unconscious and now they have emerged again. We were victims of circumstances beyond our control in infancy and now we are victims again and our trauma has been compounded.  Many conditional “if only” thoughts arise now, arising from our deep sense of inadequacy and unworthiness. Feelings of failure and hopelessness abound. Somehow we are to blame for this tragedy, if only we had been different, if only we had been more. 

5. Remorse:  Feelings of remorse, often leading to states of despondency, generalized apathy and depression, often follow closely on the heels of the internalization process. Depression is often the result of anger turned against the self. The wounding incurred in our infancy produced powerful feelings of guilt, shame, inadequacy and unworthiness. We just aren’t deserving of happiness. These powerful feelings are repressed deeply into the unconscious and will reappear whenever similar tragedies are experienced. Whenever there is a significant personal loss, there is a Breach of the We, the sense of belonging is lost and we are alone with our pain, we are even lonely when surrounded by people, we are lonely in the crowd. Infants are pre-linguistic and repression occurs without the benefit of language, and we now find ourselves at a loss for words. We simply can’t explain what we are feeling, there is just turmoil and emotional chaos, the primary symptoms of childhood trauma. This phase of the process is where many people get stuck in a depressed state and can spend years, or even the rest of their life on medication. 

6. Acceptance or resignation: Finally we become resigned to the truth, the loss is real, as is all the pain and suffering we have experienced. We become resigned to the truth, we just accept it and stop warring against it. The intensity of the suffering has been reduced enough that we are finally functional. We have moved from being grief stricken to just being really sad, spending lots of time reminiscing about the past, never fully present, always a little distracted as we go about our day. 

7. Resolution: Resolution is the ability to move on, to get on with life, things are almost back to normal, but a lingering sense of loss remains. The emotional storm has passed we have settled to the facts, and the blaming, the anger, the inflammation phase has passed. Now we can even experience moments of laughter but may find that laughing brings tears, and not tears of joy. Lingering feelings aren’t far from the surface and when our defenses are down they find there way to the surface. For many people this is seen as the final stage of the process. 

8. Integration. We have fully explored and made sense of our pain there is no longer a sense of loss but a genuine sense of peace. Having made sense of our suffering and its roots in childhood trauma we have fully incorporated our losses into a real change in our values and beliefs. The myths we have lived by have been challenged, a reformation of long held values, beliefs, desires and attachments has occurred. Despite the losses of life we are genuinely happy, we experience periods of real joy, and don’t feel guilty about it. Many people feel reborn, there has been a deep and affective change. Other people around us are surprised, and we hear the comment “you have really changed“, and we have, we feel like a new person. The Authentic Self has emerged, and we know who we are. Our suffering has put us back on the path towards integration and authenticity. We have reconnected to the Spiritual side of life, and are beginning to sense that it’s all Spiritual. We have a new sense of meaning and purpose, a genuine connection to and acceptance of life.   This is the end of suffering. 

Belonging is programmed into our DNA, but what is the price we pay for belonging to a traumatizing society built upon a history of trauma?

America is a nation built on slavery and genocide, and built upon this traumatizing history America is known around the world as a brutal, warring nation. One hundred million people have died in wars since the end of World War II. 

One does not have to directly experience gore and violence to be affected by it. Indirect or Vicarious Trauma also occurs. Vicarious Trauma is a condition caused by witnessing the trauma of others, and is almost as damaging as being the direct victim of emotional or physical violence oneself. It should be obvious to all that stop and think about the history of humankind that we and our ancestors are all victims of trauma, some more than others, but nonetheless we are all victims, directly or vicariously, of multigenerational, systemic and endemic violence, we are all traumatized. 

Those that are the most traumatized in early childhood become the sickest amongst us, they are sick people, not bad people, people who have suffered enough already and are immune to punishment because they cannot feel. 

If there is any hope of saving this planet, which I very much doubt, it will require a monumental shift in consciousness, and the first step is that we have to wake up and acknowledge who we really are now.  What has become of western civilization?  We glorify war, spends trillions of dollars on warfare, killing millions, imposing sanctions on entire nations of people killing millions more, and we love violence on TV and at the movies. Our socioeconomic system is dependent upon the profits of war. 

If we are to save this planet we have to wake up and face a very ugly truth of where we are now. We must wake up to and end the denial of who we have become. We must step back and take a hard and painful look at the state of the society to which we belong and ask ourselves is it worth it? We do have an inbuilt and desperate need to belong, but do you really want to belong to this society as it is today? 

Capitalism has given us so much, and all for the measly price of one small planet, and our Souls. The cost of belonging is so very high, but the cost of waking up seems even higher, it requires a painful Soul searching that if undertaken will cause suffering. We will experience grief and loss. The truth will be painful but it is the pathway to freedom and an end to suffering. We will have to traverse the stages of grief, and do it voluntarily. No longer numb and disconnected from our suffering and the suffering of those around us results in reconnecting to our pain, pain that we have been living with for years unconsciously. The pain that is the source of our dis-ease. It means facing the question, “Who am I?” and what is the true nature of the “civilization” I cling to? Can you even say we are “civilized”, when we allow so much suffering in our midst. 

If you believe that we are merely physical beings, just a fluke of nature and there is no greater power in the universe than ourselves, then please don’t begin this journey, stay as you are and enjoy life while you can. But if you believe there is a greater power than ourselves, a cosmic intelligence  responsible for and underlying Creation, a life force that permeates all of Creation including you, then have faith in this force, and the force will be with you. This force has been called many names, but in fact cannot be named, and should in fact remain nameless since language and thought are so limiting. Just knowing that this higher power exists throughout all of Creation and exists within you is enough to begin the journey that overcomes the material realm and allows you to transcend it. The first stage of grief is denial, if we are to end our suffering we have to move past denial and get to a state of accepting a very painful truth. Western society is a killing machine, we kill for sport, for pleasure and for profit. Not only do we kill each other in massive numbers, drive other species to extinction, but we are killing the planet that sustains us and all life, and now we stand at the edge of extinction. The children of today will not die of old age, and it is we who have sealed their fate. This knowledge is painful, we can practice denial and repress our pain into the unconscious mind, or we can allow the painful truth into consciousness and deal with it. 

In psychology there is a condition known as Conversion Disorder. We experience physical symptoms like pain and inflammation because of the pent up pain  and trauma repressed into the unconscious. Repressed pain and trauma have real consequences if left undealt with, either psychologically or physically. It is estimated that eighty percent of all physical illness is psychosomatic. Denial is very costly, it is literally killing us. We have to wake up, embrace our pain and move through the stages of grief. 

I will deal with the eight stages of grief next. 

Imagine being trapped in an intricate maze, constructed of rough red brick walls, blindfolded, hands bound behind your back and being chased by a demon. 

Pain, fear, desperation, despair, and all alone in your plight, you feel overwhelmed, anxious and powerless, you are trapped. Emotion angst overwhelms you and your racing mind just won’t stop going around and around in endless circles, no matter what you do there is no way out. Hope fades and the darkness sets in and finally despair turns to depression and despondency and in desperation, suicidal thoughts begin to appear. Death would end it all and oh what a relief. Death would be the end of your suffering and frustration and seems like the only welcoming alternative. Death begins to beckon, it seems to be calling your name, death is your only hope, your hope is in death. 

Suicidal thoughts seem to have a subtle force, they seem to draw you in against your will. At first they repulse you, but their persistence finally begins to attract you and finally you really are entertaining them, and their power intensifies.  

This mental state is truly insufferable and few find their way out unaided, empathetic understanding and compassion by another are essential. All forms of judgement are forbidden.  

Fritz Kunkel believed that suicidal thoughts arise from deep within the unconscious, and actually arose from the Authentic Self, your true Self is reaching out to you, it is aware of your suffering and is aware of the origins of your plight. The thought from the unconscious is positive but becomes distorted as it passes upwards through the layers of your unconscious. The Authentic Self knows something has to drastically change something has to die. As this thought enters into consciousness the ego panics and distorts it even more. The Authentic Self is calling out for a revolution, a revolutionary change, a complete abandonment of all of your values and beliefs, that the ego created in childhood in response to your pain. Your Self is calling out for you to abandon your ego, to die to the false self and to become whole. All of your beliefs, your values, attachments and desires were created by the ego in response to your childhood trauma, and none of it represents who you really are. All of the great mystics of all ages have said that we live in a world of illusion. Modern psychologists can now explain how we came to live in this illusionary realm of suffering. Childhood trauma accounts for it all. Our infantile, overreactive ego created a false self and repressed our Authentic Self into the unconscious. The path leading to individuation and enlightenment was abandoned for the path of attachment and belonging. This artificial separation from Self lies at the root of all our suffering. Something must die, but it is not you, it is your ego and all of its artificial values and beliefs and all of its worldly attachments and desires. 

This is the death that leads to liberation, this is the true rebirth, everything but you has to die, in order to be reborn. All of your pain and suffering is the fuel  for change, we have to let go, give up, surrender. Let go of all the futile thinking the quest for worldly solutions to worldly problems. Fritz Kunkel said that the ego has no solutions to the problems it creates. There are no man made solutions to man made problems, the mind that created the problem can’t solve it, we need a higher mind. Thank God the Authentic Self is laden with authentic intuitive Wisdom, an inner knowing not dependent on and therefore restricted by language. Authentic Wisdom is just a subtle gut feeling that just feels right and guides us on the path to healing and wholeness. Some call it a vital sixth sense, which it truly is. All of us have this vital sixth sense, in most of us it lies dormant but seeking it in stillness it can be found awakened and nurtured to its full potential. Quiet the mind, ignore all thoughts, just breath and relax and feel the life force within you, and know that suicidal thoughts are just positive revolutionary thoughts distorted by your ego. Your whole life has been a distortion, its time for a revolutionary change, a new you, a real you, rooted and grounded in the truth, in the Wisdom of Being. 

Extinction is inevitable, we are all going to die amongst much pain, chaos and brutality but Creation will continue man cannot destroy the evolutionary life force behind all of Creation. Capitalism has destroyed this planet, its fate is sealed, but Creation Continues in spite of man, man was just a temporary blip on the screen of impermanence, in the realm of the temporal, never meant to last.  Only the life giving Spirit has permanence and we are all apart of that Spirit but only if we become conscious of it. Suffering is a lack of consciousness, we must awaken and become fully conscious and all suffering will end. 

Our modern capitalist, corporate based society has robbed women and children of much of the quality time infants and young children desperately need in order to maintain genuine feelings of attachment and belonging. The isolated modern American family requires two incomes in order to meet the basic needs for survival. Stressed out overworked women just don’t have the time to meet the genuine emotional needs of their children, and so they find ways of distracting the children from their unmet needs. TV, iPads, and smartphones are all sources of entertainment for children, designed to distract them from their need for attention. Children’s games like Pokémon are great distractors and a great source of stimulation. In fact stimulation in our society has become an addiction. Children’s TV shows and games are designed to entertain and stimulate, capturing the attention of the child and distracting them from an inner sense of dis-ease arising from the weakening bond with their overworked mother. Who through no fault of her own is emotionally unavailable to the child, as a result of her stress levels. This lack of emotional availability creates an inner emptiness within the child, the child becomes restless, irritable and discontent. The child’s emotional state is stressful for the mother who finds a quick fix by parking the child in front of the TV to provide artificial but distracting stimulation. This  results in overstimulation of the child’s nervous system to which they have become habituated, or comfortable with. Since this type of stimulation is novel and exciting, children desire to continue with it and a psychological dependence develops.  However after a while this level of stimulation no longer produces the same level of excitement, in other words it becomes boring since the body has developed tolerance to this level of stimulation. Now the child needs more of the stimulant to achieve the same levels of excitement. Faster paced more exciting, more stimulating forms of entertainment are required to produce the same effect, and so the process of progression has begun. 

In severe cases many young boys will progress up the intensity scale all the way to violent video games and become addicted to them, spending hours every day in front of a screen playing war games and killing. Their fantasy life begins to revolve around violence, they are not repulsed by it, they are habituated to it and have a high level of tolerance for it. For some it won’t be long before they act out their inner life and commit real active violence in the world. Many school shootings are committed by very wounded teenage boys addicted to violent video games, and it all started out so innocently with Pokémon, and has ended up with so much suffering. 

The psychological and emotional costs of the modern families dependence upon capitalism are horrific. We see the results every day, the broken, shattered lives, the opioid epidemic, the suicide  epidemic, The mental health crises, the wars and the migration crises they have produced, the homelessness, the growth in the prison population, the suffering is endless, and yet we fail to address the cause. We are to afraid to look at capitalism and the corporate globalist agenda, and where it is leading us, which is to extinction. like all addicts, we live in denial. 

Capitalism’s planned destruction of the extended family has isolated the nuclear family and made it very dependent and vulnerable to the corporate state. This situation has been progressing exponentially for the past two hundred years and today even the nuclear family is under attack in a further attempt to isolate and marginalize every human being. Isolated, lonely humans are very vulnerable, easily manipulated and controlled. Total domination, dependence and control is the corporate agenda and they are well on their way to succeeding. Unfortunately their destructive agenda will very shortly destroy the world. We humans stand at edge of near term human extinction. The psychopathology of corporate greed is a totally destructive form of insanity. Our society is insanely marching towards extinction to the corporate beat. 

Having passed all the tipping points leading to our extinction due to our wounded state of dependence we must finally become willing to transcend death by overcoming the world. We must finally recognize the the true purpose of life was always to overcome our worldly desires and attachments that bind us the the wheel of life, suffering and death. We truly were sent into the world to overcome our attachments and desires, but as a result of our childhood trauma we have become addicted to them and we and the planet suffer as a result of our addictions to power, prestige, wealth and pleasure. Our worldly ambitions and addiction to success are all manifestations of our separation and isolation from our true Self and the journey to compassion based individuation. Only the fully individuated Soul can overcome the world and transcend death. We were born to become transcendent, and not slaves to capitalism, worshipping the god of money and never ending growth.  

The time to awaken is now, we must wake up to our plight, the diagnosis is terminal, the end is near. Our woundedness has caused us to live unconsciously in a state of illusion that has lead us to a state of delusion and despair. Being unconscious there is no blame, but remaining unconscious today is a choice. Change is painful, but pain is essential for our rebirth and growth. Giving up our addictions will result in painful withdrawal, but freedom, enlightenment and transcendence are the results. The true meaning of love is compassion. 

An infant having spent nine months in its mother’s womb genuinely needs constant attention, reassurance and affection in order that the We feeling and sense of belonging is maintained. Any breach of the We will result in trauma and an overly sensitive and reactive ego will develop. 

An infant perceiving or experiencing a deficiency in The meeting of its basic emotional needs will feel a sense of personal inadequacy, feelings of not being good enough to warrant the attention and affection it genuinely needs. The feeling of not being good enough or inadequate is called shame. The wounded infant’s primary emotion as a result of emotional trauma is shame. The infant feels it is unworthy of love as a result of its personal defects, and this is where the ego steps in to compensate for or eliminate these perceived defects of character or personality. In severe cases of neglect and abuse an entirely new persona, or person is created and a complete disconnect from the Authentic Self results. 

Just so you know Malignant Narcissists, Psychopaths and Sociopaths are incapable of empathy or compassion resulting in a failure of conscience. Their ego is free floating, completely cut off from any sense of empathy or compassion. They genuinely have no conscience. They are cut off  completely from any connection to the Authentic Self. Only the Authentic Self is capable of empathy and compassion. While some egocentric people choose to ignore or repress their feelings of empathy, they have them to repress, they are usually those suffering from repressed anger and unresolved resentments. 

Far to many mothers in the past century raising children alone without adequate support structures have simply just burned out early in the child rearing process. Unable to give the child what it needs in terms of attention and affection they have improvised ways to distract the child from its feelings of insignificance resulting from the lack of attention. Since the 1950’s TV and kids programming on TV have been used by these stressed out mothers to distract and entertain their children while the mothers attend to other household chores, or just finds some rest. The other tactic often used is to distract the child with a new toy or some other stimulating object to again divert the child’s attention away from its needs. Both of these short term strategies have long term consequences. 

Firstly the gap in attention and affection results in a lowering of significance and security for the child, this has a serious effect on the child’s esteem, or how it feels about its adequacy and worthiness. A child feeling inadequate and unworthy experiences shame. As the practices of diversion and distraction continue a deepening sense of shame develops and this very uncomfortable feeling is then repressed into the unconscious. The ego becomes a willing co-conspirator in the rejection and repression of the Authentic Self. The Authentic Self is deemed by the ego to be inadequate and unworthy of love. Compensatory personality traits are developed by the ego and applied to the developing persona or false-self. 

The second major damaging aspect to Self is when the child is distracted by new toys or tasty treats an objectification begins to take place. What the child needs is love but this need is bought off and a toy or a treat is substituted. Thus love becomes equated with objects and a materialistic attitude is added to the developing persona, where objects can be substituted for love. This aspect can lead later in life to excessive materialism and spending. In other words a shopaholic is born. If sugary treats are substituted for love obesity will develop and be a life long problem. 

It also pays to remember that a child sitting in front of the TV is exposed to commercials aimed at creating artificial desires in the child for toys and objects that have now become equated with love. 

These early shaming experiences have a profound affect on the child’s sense of belonging. There is an early breach of the We resulting in a rejection of Self, as a result this underlying sense of inadequacy and unworthiness will affect all of the adults relationships. This wounded adult will never fully believe they are lovable, and as a result will always feel insecure in their relationships. Nor will they fully believe that they are fully accepted as they are and belong fully to any group. They will suffer from deep feelings of insecurity, inadequacy and unworthiness throughout their adult life. 

All of our values and beliefs are formed in the first five years of life and they dictate our adult reactions and behaviors. 

Tomorrow I will focus on video games used to distract children from their need for  love and attention. 

Belonging is programmed into our DNA. For millions of years fish formed schools and then birds formed flocks and then mammals came along and formed packs and herds. Our closest relatives from which we evolved live in groups. Our survival depends upon the group or tribe, humans could not have survived as individuals, we are an interdependent species. We need each other if we are to survive. For hundreds of thousands of years we lived in small closely knit tribes, knowing our individual survival was dependent on the group survival, they were inseparable. These tribal groupings were small rarely exceeding thirty members and as a result were very intimate.  People grew up together were related and really knew each other, there was a real sense of intimacy and belonging. 

Infants are born with this need to belong programmed into their DNA, and having spent nine months in the mothers womb, there is a deep biological bond between mother and child. The infant believes it and its mother are one. We are a “We”, it is real, it is genuine it is in our shared DNA. This We feeling is the foundation for all emotional and psychological development and must be protected, nourished, developed and matured in the first five years of life if we are going to have healthy individuals and society’s. 

In the 1920’s it was decided by a few very wealthy and powerful men that this interdependence and social Unity was bad for business. Social cohesion was dangerous to their business interests, interdependence must be replaced and psychologists were hired to destroy the the extended family. Closely knit extended families living in small groups within small villages meant smaller markets. If mom had a washing machine she shared it with her kids who lived nearby, the children brought their laundry over and they sat and visited while they had tea. This meant four or five families shared one washing machine, it was communal. But instead of selling four or five washing machines the manufacturers were only selling one. This had to be stopped. Psychologists hired by capitalists began to promote the idea of individuality and independence. People needed to become strong, and independent, self-reliant, self-made, self-sufficient and stand on their own two feet. Young adults needed to leave the village and move to the city and get a job and support themselves, and buy their own washing machine. All forms of familial interdependence had to be extinguished. Self-esteem, self-sufficiency, independence and rugged individualism were highly promoted in the media and in the movies.  

This orchestrated break down of the extended family, the tribal unit and the small village community destroyed the social safety net of the family, instead people were dependent on their job, in the city, provided by the capitalists for their survival. This breakdown of the family unit produced a huge sense of insecurity. The sense of security that came from belonging to an extended family was lost. The “We” feeling, the sense of Unity and belonging was lost. This was extremely traumatic, resulting in massive insecurity issues and a search for belonging. Friends replaced family, providing more opportunity for capitalist exploitation. People were encouraged to have more friends and to socialize more, after work of course. The social entertainment industry was created to capitalize on the need to belong and the roaring 20’s was born. Wasn’t life fun in the city, there was so much to do so many places to go and have fun with your friends and spend money. Popularity and a good job defined success. 

The real “We” feeling was replaced with what Fritz Kunkel defined as the “sham-we”. The complete breakdown of the extended family and the tribal unit meant mothers had to raise their children alone without the support of the extended family. The nuclear family was alone and vulnerable, completely financially dependent on capitalism. Independence produced isolation, and isolation lead to vulnerability and this inner sense of vulnerability and being fundamentally alone produced major stresses for mothers, left to raise their infants alone. Postpartum depression became normal and was blamed on hormonal imbalances, not on the stress created by the familial breakdown. Stress produces it own hormones which then interfere with other hormonal systems. Women were never meant to raise children alone, it takes a village to raise a child, villages were formed by groupings of extended families, there was a ton of support for mothers and their children. They were taken care of, they belonged. The We was intact and one just belonged, it was their birthright. There was a real “We” not a sham-we. The sham-we is created by the false-self interacting with the false-selves of others, it is image based, based upon the image created by the false-self and therefore largely illusionary. Remember Buddha and many of the great mystics have said life is an illusion. The sham-we is largely responsible for this illusionary life. 

Childhood trauma creates a separation from the Authentic-Self and the ego created false-self being false is incapable of real relationships or a real We feeling therefore the sham-we feeling is created as a substitute, based upon superficial personality traits that are artificial. The false-self is unconscious of the presence of the Authentic-Self living within. The false-self believes this is who you really are, the image created by the ego designed to get approval and affection from a stressed out distracted mother. 

The true meaning of adultery is being unfaithful to oneself, the Authentic-Self. If we are unfaithful to our true Self how can we be faithful to one-another. This is the true meaning of infidelity, we are infidels. We don’t have a true relationship with ourselves and therefore we don’t have a true relationship,with others, this is the sham-we. Sham-we relationships are fundamentally unsatisfying as they have no real depth. Deep within our personal and collective unconscious there is a “knowing”, unconsciously we know our life is based upon a lie, we know there is more to us than this life we are living. This unconscious knowing produces an inner angst that causes the mid-life crises, where dissatisfaction, depression and suffering result. the midlife crises is associated with a sense of inner emptiness, a search for meaning, and end to the inner sense of loneliness caused by the separation from the Authentic Self and its capacity for integrity and a true sense of belonging to something greater than oneself. Thankfully the solution lies within all of us. Authenticity cannot be created nor destroyed, it may be dormant but it is stirring, and this inner stirring, this inner turmoil produced by the stirrings of the Authentic Self is why we suffer. We desire real attachment beyond any superficial sense of belonging, and thankfully it is there lying dormant within us. 

Infants being totally dependent on their mothers for their physical needs of safety and security and their emotional needs for attention, affection, significance, esteem, power, and control place very high demands on their mothers. I say mothers as it is the mother that the infant is biologically bonded to, and this bond must be maintained for the first five years of life, or trauma results. As a result of our socioeconomic structure mothers do not get the support they need in order to meet the emotional needs of the child. Women need a stress free environment in which to raise a child and this is not the case in our capitalist society. As a result ninety nine percent of us experience some form of trauma in infancy and early childhood. This emotional trauma causes the ego to develop in unhealthy ways and this causes us to deviate from the path of individuation, the path to wholeness and completion. The more significant the trauma the greater the deviance and the greater the pathology. We cannot blame the traumatized infant nor the stressed out mother who also was traumatized as a child by her traumatized parents, so blame becomes irrelevant and unhelpful on the journey towards health, healing and wholeness. We are dealing with multi generational systemic trauma brought about by capitalism and the lack of empathy and compassion it generates. Capitalism promotes greed and selfishness, and individuality at the expense of Individuation. Capitalism is traumatizing. 

These wounded, broken children grow up to be dysfunctional adults and deviated from the path of individuation they manifest all forms of deviant behavior, which causes further trauma. Dysfunctional adults are emotionally immature. Their childhood emotions were repressed in an infantile state and therefore emotional maturity was thwarted. Infantile emotional outbursts by an infant or child must be met with patience, understanding and empathy by the mother in order to guide the infant through the perceived crises and unto emotional maturing. 

Remember infants don’t have language and therefore are incapable of rational thought. Irrational emotional outbursts are normal for an infant. If these irrational emotions are repressed into the unconscious they will produce irrational behavior in the adult. This will result in judgement, condemnation and punishment producing more trauma and suffering. 

Infants must never feel rejected, for their emotional immaturity, and they must never be abandoned and left to cry. The mother must use her empathy and understanding of the perceived crises to end the crises, by so doing the child learns that there was no real crises and emotional maturity advances through the process of resolution. 

Children must never be punished, punishment of any kind is forbidden. Punishment always produces trauma. Discipline is not punishment. Discipline is the act of “making a follower of”, a disciple. Children must be helped to learn why some behaviors are acceptable and some are not. Discipline is an educational process leading to understanding and maturity. Punishment is just a reactionary immature response by the wounded parent. Judgement, condemnation and punishment are forbidden in a compassion based society. 

Currently in our society deviant behavior is often referred to as a crime and punishment ensues. Broken, wounded suffering people are thrown into prison and their life is destroyed. The so called criminals in our society are merely the most wounded people in desperate need of healing. Judgement, condemnation, and punishment  merely compounds the problem resulting in more trauma to the individual and society. Our society has been deeply traumatized by the lack of compassion we show to these deeply wounded people. People who through now fault of their own were set upon a deviated path as a result of their childhood trauma. If they are not at fault they cannot be punished, instead of prisons we need rehabilitation centers that treat Post Traumatic Childhood Disorder. Centers of understanding, empathy and compassion, helping the person understand their suffering and the deviance that has resulted from it and how the deviant behavior causes more trauma and suffering to themselves and others. 

We live in a very violent society, much of the violence we perpetrate upon the most wounded individuals in our society traumatizes them and us. We are traumatized any time we practice judgement or condemnation of another. Any time we inhibit the development of compassion within ourselves we further repress our Authentic Self. Remember the hallmark of Individuation or Authenticity is compassion. If we deliberately repress compassion in favor of punishment we are rejecting our authenticity and we become more deviated, more emotionally immature and we will suffer more as a result. If you want to end your suffering work hard at developing understanding, empathy and compassion, For yourself and others, these three qualities lead to an intuition based form of real Wisdom. This innate intuitive Wisdom transcends the wisdom of the world. 

It is interesting that western nations claim to be Christian, and yet Jesus forbade judgement with the commandment “thou shalt not judge”, he also forbade condemnation and punishment. Instead he commanded that we “love (be compassionate towards) our neighbor, ourselves and our so called enemies”. Oh, how far we have deviated from the path. All the result of our individual and collective childhood trauma. 

The average person in the west thinks sixty thousand thoughts per day. The average attention span has fallen from four minutes in the 1920’s to eight seconds today. We have become a very impatient people and empathy scores on tests given at universities have fallen by fifty percent in three decades, while narcissism has become an epidemic, we live in the age of the “selfie”, addicted to our smart phones.  

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders describes narcissistic personality disorder as “a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy that begins by early adulthood and is present in a variety of contexts”. 

ADD Attention Deficit Disorder And ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder have also become an epidemic in our schools. ADD is a result of childhood trauma resulting from a lack of attention, affection and esteem creating anxiety which overstimulates the infants developing brain, leading to all kinds of behavioral problems and a short attention span. Restlessness, fidgeting and irritability are the hallmarks of ADD. 

Almost all non organic mental health issues including depression and drug addiction have their origins in childhood trauma.  The current opioid crisis is a prime example as wounded children self medicate their emotional distress. Addiction should be seen as the disease of belonging as all addicts crave belonging and have been conditioned to be hypersensitive to feelings of rejection and abandonment in infancy. Narcissism is present in all addicts, self centeredness develops from feelings of neglect in childhood, the child becomes so focused on its unmet needs that empathy fails to develop and selfish behavior is displayed, often as the inability to share as a child. The child suffering as a result of its own unmet needs cannot see the needs of others. The selfish child is often punished and met with disapproval (Rejection) further compounding the trauma. We live in a society that judges and punishes behaviors but never addresses root causes of the unacceptable behavior. 

Civilized society is in a state of collapse and has been since the advent of capitalism. Money truly is the root of all evil. Our society, our social structure is a socioeconomic system totally governed and controlled by money. 

Capitalism has destroyed the family, the community, the village and is now working to destroy the nation in pursuit of the globalist agenda. The globalist agenda cannot succeed without the destruction of the nation state. Any sense of belonging, any sense of Unity must be destroyed so that people can be made subject to the New World Order. 

Since the advent of capitalism most families have been so stressed  financially, so economically focused on meeting the basic human needs for food, clothing and shelter that they have been unable to meet the basic emotional needs of their infants. The infant needs attention, affection, feelings of significance and emotional freedom to express itself in infantile ways without judgement. Parents that are living one paycheck away from being homeless can’t meet their child’s needs, the parents are to emotionally exhausted, burned out. 

Currently market manipulation by capitalists has placed the price of housing beyond reach, resulting in both parents working outside the home, while the children are farmed out to strangers in so called day care centers. Children must remain with the mother for a minimum of five years, or significant trauma will result. Believe it or not this was the norm in the 1950’. How many working class families can afford for the mother not to work?  Very few, and children suffer and these wounded broken children are the future of society. 

Oh, but wait a minute. We are the wounded broken children, it was our emotional needs that weren’t met and we are raising children of our own now. 

The destruction of the family and thus the society was carefully planned capitalists knew their agenda could not succeed in a caring compassionate society. They needed a self focused individualistically  based society and so they hired psychologists to help them create it. 

Please watch the 2002 BBC documentary, The Century Of Self. It is available for free on YouTube. 

Capitalism has purposely caused the collapse of the family, leading to the collapse of society and nations. Capitalism will destroy the planet very soon, humans are faced with near term extinction, probably within the next ten years. Empathy and compassion will be be needed desperately if we are to exit existence gracefully. The human mind is capable of transcendence, we can increase our level of consciousness and even transcend this world and death. Facing extinction now is the time to overcome the world and enter into the realm of transcendence. now is the time for healing our wounded child so that our Authentic Self can emerge. Only the Authentic Self is capable of transcendence.