We are through the worst of the crises now, we accept our loss. We have accepted the crisis as it is. We are no longer warring against the loss, we have accepted we cannot change yesterday’s news no matter how distressing. All we can do is change our response and try to give meaning and purpose to the crisis.
This phase marks the end of the emotional chaos that has often raged in our head and ruled our days. The internal debate has ended, a consensus has been reached, the committee, exhausted by the heated debate has taken a vote. The result is split, three votes for and two against. But it has been decided, we have to accept the news and get on with life, no matter how difficult it might seem, is the committees decision.
Now that the voices in our head have quieted we feel much calmer inside, less agitated, more at peace, we can sleep at night, we have stepped off the merry go round.
But who are all these conflicting voices in our heads, that produce so much endless chatter? It seems we are always talking to ourselves, but who are we talking with? Welcome to Jung’s world of the archetypes.
The archetypes are unincorporated, split off aspects of ourselves that live in our unconscious minds. They are the result of our personal and collective trauma.
The list of archetypes is endless, due to their fluid, free floating nature but generally there are five we should look at and definitely integrate.
In men the anima represents the mother figure and constitutes a part of a mans feminine side. You may have heard the men marry their mothers, and this is partially true. What really happens is men unconsciously project their mother unto a woman capable of carrying the projection and fall in love with the image created.
The animus in women, represents the father, and shapes their masculine side. Again you have heard that women end up marrying men just like their father, but as in the case above they simply unconsciously project the father image unto a man that can wear the projection and fall in love with the image created. Projection plays a really unconscious but powerful role in our lives. Has your husband ever accused you of being just like his mother. That is what he sees in the projected image reflecting back at him.
The trickster is another archetype of note, I love mine, he is so childlike and full of mischief. He has an amazing sense of humor and I can break out laughing at his internal antics. He is really colorful, the class clown. Being a male my trickster has masculine characteristics while in women it often appears as female, and oh, how scandalous she can be. My ego believes it has to keep a tight rain on this mischievous fellow or people might not take me seriously, and we can’t have that can we?
And lastly we have “THE SHADOW”, dark and looming large, the alter-ego, a threat to the throne. The shadow represents all the split off repressed aspects of ourselves that the ego declared as unacceptable to its survival strategy.
Repression is always bad, its like dumping your garbage into a landfill, it eventually pollutes the ground water, and produces endless amounts of toxic waste. Well that’s what happens to us, the ego throws all the stuff it calls garbage into the unconscious, and toxicity results, making us sick. Integration might be the ultimate form of Recycle, Reuse, Repurpose and Compost.
While the shadow side of our personality is always presented as the dark side, this is fake news. Yes, from the ego’s perspective the shadow side is a terrorist, and all the ego psychologists who make their living from ego psychology agree. The shadow is a terrorist that threatens the great American way of life, and it must be destroyed. We must make the ego strong in order to maintain an egocentric way of life.
But wait, what if the shadow is actually a freedom fighter, a white knight come to rescue the damsel in distress who is locked in the tower, by the evil king.
A great archetypal story and now a movie is Robin Hood. Robin Hood represents the shadow, a thief in the night who steals from the rich. The imposter fraudulent evil king is Prince John, he represents the ego. While the Authentic Self is good King Richard the Lionheart, off fighting the Holy War (engaged in Spiritual Warfare, overcoming evil). Maid Marion represents the Divine Feminine, the Celestial Virgin, the Mother of God. She is the idealized woman, perfect in every way. However ego psychologists refer to her as Mary Magdalene, the woman of many sins, the tramp, the prostitute. After all she chose a thief over King John and was treasonous to the core.
It is truly amazing how much we can learn about ourselves from this crisis if we can navigate it well. There is such an opportunity for meaningful growth. We can become fully integrated and therefore fully alive, our lives can truly become meaningful and have a great purpose all thanks to this crisis. If we weren’t facing death, how could we ever transcend it. Life is such a great paradox. To paradoxical to be coincidental.
Stage Six of the grieving process is the actualization of the Serenity Prayer:
God grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And the Wisdom to know the difference.
We have accepted the crisis as it is and are having a taste of Serenity. We have become willing to change the only thing we really can change which is ourselves. We are ready to move on.