First the basics.
The human infant is the most dependent creature born on earth. The infant is totally dependent upon its mother for its survival for the first two years of life. While still in the womb a very powerful biological bond is formed with its mother, this bond is so powerful that the child does not see itself as a separate entity from the mother. In other words the process of individuation does not begin until after twelve months of age. From the infants perspective mother and child are one, a “We”.
Fritz Kunkle wrote extensively about childhood trauma in the 1930’s and 40’s and he called it the “Breach of the We”, if this powerful bond between mother and child is damaged in any way a breach of the “We” occurs and the individuation process is upset. Fritz Kunkle is the founder of trauma theory. much of what you will read here is based upon his works.
The entire psychological and emotional development of the infant is totally based upon this powerful biological attachment to the mother. Psychological and emotional attachment quickly follow and these bonds must be nourished, protected and maintained for the first five years of a child’s life. Even the child’s auto immune system is developed during this period at the mothers breast.
Infants are pre-rational and much of their experience is based upon the perceptions of an infant, being pre- rational and pre-linguistic there is very little rational thought of any kind. Thinking depends upon language and an infant doesn’t have language until the second year of life, its entire experience is emotional, and emotional trauma is the foundation of all trauma. An infants emotional experience must be carefully guarded in the first two years of life. The powerful biological, emotional and psychological bonds must not be damaged or weakened in any way.
Infants have emotional needs that must be met if healthy psychological development is to follow. Children need love, affection, acceptance, attention, tenderness, and a deep sense of acceptance and belonging. If any of these basic emotional needs are lacking the infant feels it’s very survival is at risk and this fear is overwhelming for the pre-rational infant. This is primal fear, laid down in the memory with no associated language or thoughts, it is an all powerful gut feeling that radiates throughout the entire body. All negative emotions in the future will anchor to this primary emotion of fear. That’s why people say there are only two emotions love and fear, they are the two primary emotions of an infant. The infant loves its mother through the process of attachment and fears death if it feels neglect, abandonment or any sense of not being fully accepted as it is. Emotional trauma in infancy causes great suffering for the infant. All future suffering will attach to this primary experience of suffering. This is why one must fully understand their childhood emotional experience if they are to make sense of their suffering as an adult. in other words you are suffering now because you suffered then, and the two are directly related.
In part 2 we will look at the role of the ego in childhood development, especially in the wounded child.