Social Housing: Debating the facts, while ignoring the feelings.

Social Housing: Debating the facts, while ignoring the feelings.
It is with sadness that I have watched the debate about the Rain City Project, proposed for the old RCMP property on School Road further divide our town, and further erode any sense of community. Debate is about oration and not about listening. We will not build a compassionate society through debate, we will not resolve this issue by debating it, we must fall back on the first principles of Compassion. We must develop understanding and empathy and then make compassion based decisions collectively.
To resolve this issue both sides must be willing to set aside their cherished ideals, beliefs and opinions in order to truly hear what the “other” is saying, through the art of empathic listening. Listening to the feelings, because the feelings are the facts. Until we can truly empathize with the feelings of another we cannot truly understand them. We must never invalidate or minimize another persons feelings, but instead we must feel what they are feeling by creating a sacred space that they can speak into without fear. We create the sacred space by lowering our defenses and opening our hearts, no longer listening from our head.
Empathic listening is listening from the heart, there is no judging, no analyzing, no attempt to invalidate or correct the feelings of another, we just want to feel what they feel so we can accurately reflect their feelings back to them, and they feel heard and understood. Accurately reflecting back the feelings of another is called mirroring and is a valuable healing tool. Mirroring creates reflection and having been heard we can reflect on our feelings, and this is the pathway to healing, which our traumatized society so desperately needs, to create a supportive environment for everyone.
Despite my feelings of sadness around the hurtfulness of the debate I do see two healing pathways forward. The first is that we are united by our fears, one side is fearful that the Rain City Project will be rejected and that those suffering from addiction will not get the support they so desperately need. The other side is fearful that the location may have a negative impact on the children attending the school nearby. So our fears can become a unifying principle if addressed compassionately. The second unifying principle is that both sides seem to be in support of supportive housing and addiction treatment. We do have common ground and starting here he can through empathy and compassion find our way forward without inflicting further trauma on our already traumatized society. We must be willing to set aside our differences and focus on our neighbors fears and our common interest in supportive housing. We must open our hearts and empathically listen to one another so that we create understanding and relationship. Compassion generates wisdom and wisdom is the only meaningful way forward.